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I’m a good 2460 mm

Another day in the hot sun. Look at all these humans, drinking their cold Gatorade bottles and- Ouch!! Hey, throw your bottle into the trash buddy not on me! Sigh… every time. Anyways, as I was saying…these humans. They can’t even lean against me in this heat without feeling the hot wrath of my body. Even better I say. Oh and you don’t even know the pure pain of having to listen to Old Joe’s singing voice. Every single day, he has to belt out his tunes. I don’t know why no one else complains, it’s a mystery really. Really turns my gears to have to hear his high-pitched squeals. Ah, yes there’s the captain. The only man who I don’t mind having to operate me. Always pats my back, and what is that human name he’s given me? I think it was Fred. Anyways, he pats my back every morning, says “It’s gonna be another long day Fred,” and we lift some heavyyyy stuff together. The project I’m employed under is moving construction materials on unfinished ground. Really starting to feel my engine being overused these days unfortunately. You see, I’m one of the older guys around here. Some call me “used”, they think I don’t know, but hey, just because I’m not coming straight from being assembled and polished, doesn't make me any less effective! I have a perfect safety record- there’s never been any accidents with me, no sir. So to all those new, shiny forklifts, I've got an edge on you, you hear? Saying I’m overused…the nerve of some equipment these days. I’m not even that old! Now as I was saying, back to John, the human that pats my back all the time. I've been working with John for about a few months on this construction project now. He’s my favorite, never spits out of the seat while operating me, and always throws his Gatorade bottles into the trash cans. Just a respectful, quality man. Now he talks to me too- oh yes he does, don’t look at me like that. Sings me all these Adele songs and talks about everything from his wife to the weather. We have a great relationship. Just last week, he was telling his other human friends that my yellow paint was fading away against his liking, and painted me all new again! Now I’m brighter than the sun. I’ll admit, I’m pretty cute. Just look at me, compact and sunshine yellow. I’m starting to think if I ever did become a human, the name Fred would suit me just perfectly. I’m tall too, when my mast is lowered, I’m a good 2460 mm. I've got rubber tires and I can get around at speeds of 18 mph when I’m really pushing it. Wooweeee, I can just imagine how I’d get the ladies after me. Older, and cute. Now heck I’m basically the machine clone of George Clooney. Just getting better with age.
Yea, yea, you’re saying my life’s too good to be true. Well how did you know huh?? What makes you so special??
Eh. I’ll just have to tell you then since you’re the typical nosy, annoying human I've been used to working with all my life. You may be right there.
You see, the other day, you see, me and John had to work after hours. Overtime they call it. He was tired. Now he was trying real hard to make me lift the load on my pallet, and let me tell you it was poorly stacked. John can’t you see I’m old and my pallets are in poor repair in the first place?? Not to mention the load was just too heavy. For the first time, I felt like I was made out of weak, soft flesh like these humans- I was feeling malleable and helpless under that load! Must have been near to if not more than my 8000 pound capacity!! Now you may think, okay, there’s some hope for me here.
You see, the load was not only unstable but it was blocking good old John’s vision. Yea, I’m starting to think he had way too much Gatorade throughout the day. Well. You can guess what happened. For the first time ever, I was involved in an accident. And it wasn't even my fault!! Good ol’ John started to drive me at excessive speeds – like what am I here, I know I’m good looking, but I never said I’m as good as any Fast and Furious car. Well, from what you can expect, a forklift must never settle a turn at high speeds with an elevated load. I was already expecting a disastrous tip-over accident. Be you used or not, no forklift should take on the effects of gravity! I completely tipped over, and worst of it all is that since Fred couldn't see where he was going, there were a few other workers nearby who got some of the action. Now no one got seriously injured, but I think someone’s foot got hurt… or so I heard. Not like anyone cared that I got all smashed and my pallet fell down! And the audacity of them to complain about a broken foot! What about MY bright yellow paint??

I knew what was going to happen- I saw it happen to the others. John was going to blame the accident on my shortcomings and age, and boom. Off I Go. It was a difficult few hours, having to see the area be evacuated and cleaned. My beautiful yellow paint was no more in the front. It was indeed one of the more trying times in my life.
That’s where I am now, waiting to hear what will happen to me next.
Oh what now? Okay folks, I hear John’s voice. That dummy John. Let’s see what’s going on and peak into his conversation…
“Now that thing is used and old anyways John, and look at this damage! Boss will kill us for this.”
“I know, I know, but listen to me Reed,…”
WHAT? OF ALL TIMES. What is that awful noise?? Oh gosh, I think it’s old Joe singing with his awful voice again. That man…
Oh no there is a tow truck approaching me and John’s in the passenger seat. What?! No?? Don’t grab me there, ouch!!! Help! Help! What, can’t you help me? Just sitting there reading what I’m telling you?
*5 years later….*
OH. Hello again my old friend. You haven’t aged one bit. You may be surprised I’m still talking to you. Yup, like I said, I may be old but I am just getting better with my age.
Now where I last left off, I was pretty stressed out.
But guess what John decided to do with me?? Turns out he wanted to recycle my parts to use me to build a go-kart with his kids. They want to be engineers you see. Now I was cute before, I know. But now I’m a total knockout. I look way too cool. George Clooney has got nothing on me.
Ahhhh yes….a good life.
And guess what? Ever since I've been transformed into a new machine…I've got a perfect safety record.

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